A Change of Heart

WOW...It's been 3 years already!  May 3, 2011, I woke up shortly after midnight with this uncomfortable pain in my chest.  I tried everything I could think of to ease the pain, but nothing worked.  I woke up my wife and talked with her about it. Then I did probably the dumbest thing...I tried to go back to sleep.

Later that morning, our daughters woke up and we continued with our regular morning routine as we got them ready for school with the pain still in my chest. When my wife got home from taking our daughters to school she asked me if I wanted to go to the emergency room.  I'm not big on going to the doctor (they always seem to find something wrong with you - go figure!), but I was starting to get scared, so I said "yes".

After blood work and a heart exam we found out I had had a heart attack and was in need of heart surgery - 5 bypasses to be exact.  So the surgery was scheduled for and completed on May 9, 2011.  After the surgery I had a lot of time to think and reflect on life...this is what I learned:

• You never know when your time is up on this earth, so you should make each second count.  Each second with your family.  Each second with friends. Most importantly, each second loving Jesus!  I realized I had been living out of my faith instead of living my faith out.
• God is faithful and delivers His peace when needed.  I remember lying on the bed just before they took me back for surgery and not feeling nervous or scared, but I felt surrounded by an indescribable peace.
• God still has work for me to do.  God is constantly performing "heart surgery" on me so I can and will live like Jesus.  The Bible tells me that He has huge plans for me and my life - plans that involve me and the spreading of His Kingdom.
• Also, I learned that it hurts to sneeze after heart surgery...badly!

Needless to say, that at the age of 38 I never expected to have a heart attack, but because I did someone was able to repair my heart both physically and spiritually. Now, every morning when I get dress and see the scar on my chest, I am reminded of the life I once lived and the greater life I'm called to live out.Sometimes we have to go through difficult and painful seasons to strengthen and repair our hearts so we can truly live. 

"Invalid Entry"

Every weekday morning (okay -  almost every), I head to the gym to do a little of that crazy thing called exercise.  Today was no different.  I woke up, ate breakfast, took my daughters to school and then headed to the gym.  Parked in my usual spot.  Walked into the gym and proceeded to scan my card.  Here's where it gets a bit interesting - the display on the card reader was reading "invalid card".  Thinking the scanner misread my card I scanned it again and I got the same response from the card reader.  A few thoughts started to pop into my head, "did I pay my membership?", "have I been kicked out of the gym?", and the ever popular "3rd time's a charm - scan it again!" - so I did.  Same response - "invalid card"!  Then I noticed the reason...I was scanning a supermarket key tag instead of my gym key tag...oops!

This little lesson this morning reminded me that we can be doing all the right things and not getting the results we expect because we're using the wrong tools.  So often in ministry we fight hard to build a ministry or even a great program so students will want to come to our church and/or programs.  Once they're there we'll talk to them about what God has done and how awesome Jesus is - hoping they come back.  

That's totally different to the way Jesus did ministry.  Jesus went to the people and talked with them not to them.  When He met with people, He helped them experience the love and grace of God.  John 1:14 says, "The Word became flesh and moved into the neighborhood." (The Message) NOT "The Word became flesh and waited for everyone to come see Him". If we put our energies into "us going" instead of "them coming" we just might get the opportunity to show more students the love of Jesus.

• Maybe during the weekend take a cooler full of ice and water and some of your youth group to the park to give water to the kids playing basketball.
• Head to the high school with a few pizzas and invite students to join you for lunch

Doing little things like this show them that you are willing to "move into their neighborhoods" and live life with them.  You never know what a simple act of love will do to someone - they just may meet that Jesus you keep talking about!

Put the Baggage Down!

Sometimes a youth pastor, or any pastor for that matter, comes to a new church with excitement on the outside, but on the inside we're carrying some baggage and nursing all kinds of scars. This baggage and scars may come from the way we were treated as we left our previous church, maybe even some guilt for leaving those who's lives they spoke into. Whatever the case, the baggage is heavy and the scars are fresh.  And that's exactly where my family and I found ourselves as we came to our new church 365 days ago!

As I started my new ministry position, my excitement for ministry was fading.  I tried not to let my ministry "baggage" or scars get in the way of what I felt God wanted me to do here.  I took some time to evaluate the programming and tried to gauge the maturity, both spiritual and emotional, of my new group of students. Once I did that, I hit the ground running! Little change here...little tweak there...add this program here...this outing there...ahhh back to "normal"!  But as the weeks went on nothing really seemed to be working.  Students didn't seem excited and I know I wasn't. Then I realized something...the "normal" I had reached was the same "normal" in ministry that gave me the extra baggage and a lot of the scars.

This wasn't the same church I had come from and these weren't the same students so why would I think the same programming would work for them?  Why was I trying to make myself comfortable with what I was doing instead of trying to help students grab onto and grow into a deep relationship with Jesus?  I'll tell you why...because I still had a death grip on my ministry "baggage".  When we have our hands full with the trauma from our past experiences with old pastors, old churches, old parents, old "jobs", old anything, we don't leave our hands free to grab onto what God has planned for us.

It took me a few months after I realized this to finally let go of the baggage; to finally be willing to forgive and ready to grab on to what God has planned for this ministry and for my life.  I had to reevaluate everything I did and everything I didn't do in ministry.  It was God's way of showing me Isaiah 55:8 (don't worry - I had to look it up too!) Once my hands were free and I took hold of God's plan; not only did the way I do ministry change, but my life did too. There is excitement again and it is growing!

It took a few hits in the head with the "divine 2X4" to work through my baggage and scars, but God put away the baggage and healed the scars!  I'm so glad God loves us enough to work through the junk of our lives with us.  It's amazing what can happen when we're willing to put the baggage down.

The reality of "Noah"

I've noticed something with every faith-based movie that comes out...Christians seem to draw a line in the sand about which ones to see and which to avoid.  The most recent movie to experience this "line drawing" is the movie "Noah".

Like it or hate it...see it or not...laugh at the rock creatures or cry from the blasphemy...that's not the reason for this post, enough people have already taken care of that.  I went and saw the movie on it's opening day and yes I did enjoy it (please don't call for my stoning!).  I just want to share some of my take aways from the movie and the debate surrounding it.

1  I think its pretty awesome how God works...think about it...He used an atheist to make a movie BASED on events in Scripture.  Yes, I know there are huge flaws in the story line when it's compared to Scripture, but then again what isn't flawed when compared to Scripture?

2.  This movie is being themed as the "most unbiblical biblical movie" so as Christians we have a huge opportunity to use this movie as a way to engage non-Christians in talks about what we know to really have happened.

3.  I think what the movie does get right just might be getting lost in the detail.  Two things I noticed that the movie did get right are that sin grieves God (which was the reason for the flood) and God is a God of grace. It wasn't Noah's work that saved him, it was God's grace.  God gives 2nd chances to everyone, but only a few tend to take hold of that 2nd chance.

So, love the movie or hate the movie - it has potential to be a great tool to share God's grace and have those conversations with people of different faiths or of no faith at all.  The choice is up to us as to how we use it . (Romans 8:28)

Climb the Wall

I was just sitting here working on some upcoming sermons and working on details of upcoming youth events when my mind started to wander (I know that's hard to believe but let's focus).  I started thinking of my upcoming family vacation to Disney World and all that we're looking forward to; the shows, the rides, the memories and of course THE FOOD!  But my mind didn't stay in Disney too long. Before I knew it I was remembering the "hike" I went on with my two daughters this past fall.  We were hiking along a trail in a park that lead down toward a river, so of course we followed it.  It was pretty fun.  We were like ancient explorers looking to conquer a new land.  This trail headed down river and then headed off from the river up stream on one of the streams feeding into the river. So being the awesome explorers that we were we followed it.  This new trail wound its way around trees and up hills and in between large rock walls.  Then all of a sudden the trail ran into a dead end with a stream on one side and a rock wall on the other side and in front of us.  So we were faced with a life or death decision...turn back or try to climb the wall.

I was thinking that we would be turning back because no way was I taking two daughters back injured to our cabin where my wife was waiting. That just would have been suicide and I would have never heard the end of it if one (or both) fell while attempting to climb the wall of doom!  As I'm turning around to head back down the trail, my oldest daughter begins to climb the wall and before I could even say anything she was half way up as her and her sister talked to each other about where to put there hands and feet.  As a dad I just stood there and admired what they were able to do when faced with a hard decision.

Needless to say we all made it up without any issues and I didn't have to explain any broken bones to my wife - THANK YOU JESUS!  But I got to thinking...how often do we come face to face with a huge challenge and instead of trying to conquer them we turn back in fear.  The Bible is filled with scriptures that tell us not to be afraid (so it must be an important thing to remember) and Jesus takes it one step further and tells us that we will be able to accomplish great things (John 14:12).  I think when those challenges in life come God sits back and waits to see if we'll turn around or if we'll put our faith in Him and step and pull our way to the top of the wall to continue down the path that leads us deeper into Him.  Challenges are never easy and sometimes they are painful, but change and growth never come without trials and/or pain. Don't allow the walls in life to distract you from the path God is leading you down.  Climb the wall, continue down the path and enjoy the adventure you and God are on.

Ever Been Smacked in the Head with a 2X4?

Have you ever been smacked in the head with a 2X4?  I think we can all confidently say "ummm...NO!" (if you HAVE been hit in the head with a 2X4 you may need to make some life changes...just saying)  Even though I haven't been hit in the head with a 2X4, I'm pretty sure it would hurt.  I'm also pretty sure if I was hit with one I would know (The blood or smelling sauce would probably give it away.), but I would definitely know I was hit.  I would be in some pain, there would be some confusion and disorientation and it would take some time to figure out what the heck just happened.

Now I haven't been literally hit with a 2X4, but spiritually I have.  I think so often we expect our encounters with God to be these feel good, chasing rainbows and butterflies kind of experiences, but God is pretty good with a 2X4 (speaking from experience!) and I think He needs to be.  Most of the time we are stubborn and hard-headed - well, at least I am - and for God to get our attention He has to wind up and swing.

I remember when I was just starting out in ministry and I felt the sting of the 2X4.  We had moved from Pennsylvania to Texas and my wife and I were looking for a church to call home.  Once we found that church I felt God calling me to get involved with youth ministry and my response to that was a loud and emphatic "HECK NO!".  My middle school and high school years were the worst and I'm so glad time travel isn't possible because I would not even want to travel back in time to relive those years to even try to make them better.  I battled with God for months about this call until one day He just got out His spiritual 2X4 and swung for the fences.  Let me tell you...I am so glad He did!  I love working with students as they work through who Jesus is and what that means for them.  The transformation that comes with a Godly smack with a 2X4 is worth pain, confusion, and possible embarrassment we may go through to join God on the path to the life He's called us to live.

So in those days of confusion, frustration, disorientation, and pain realize God may have just smacked you in the head with a 2X4 to get your attention.  He's got bigger and better things planned for us and sometimes a little pain is required for the transformation.